All Matters Under the Heavens 天下事

The Chinese language is beautiful. Take for instance the phrase 望子成龙, the meaning is “one wishes for one’s children to be successful,” but the literal translation is “hope son becomes dragon.” (In today’s non-sexist China, the female version is hope daughter becomes phoenix.)

Let us touch upon the differences between Chinese and American cultures.
As I mentioned earlier, we had a guest lecturer who spoke about the changing role of Confucianism in Chinese society. One of the aspects of Chinese culture that he focused on was the role of family in Chinese society. Unlike in America, a person does not view themselves (and they are not viewed by others) as an individual standing alone on an island. Rather, a person is defined and judged based on their relationships with their family. When there is an interaction between the government and a person, it is not Mr. Tannenbaum vs. the Government, but it is the Tannenbaum family vs. the Government. Parents are often viewed as more important than children, including grandchildren. Parents have years of experience and should be respected. We did a little survey in our class. The question was, if an American adult had a child and a parent who could not swim, both were drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be? The students agreed that most Americans would pick their children over their parents (don’t worry Mommy and Daddy, I would save you too!). The reasoning behind it is that grandparents would prefer their grandchildren saved, but more interestingly, American society views the preservation of a young life to be more important than that of an old life. We tend to view the elderly as near to death; however, when we look at the youth, we focus on the multitude of years ahead of them. Our Chinese teacher on the other hand, said most Chinese would save their parents over their children. They place a greater value on the elderly, because they focus on the wisdom and knowledge the elderly have, which can only be accumulated over many years. This is similar to the dilemma I presented earlier; do you call someone a soon to be junior, or a student who just finished sophomore year. Your frame of thought is essential in shaping your opinions, and even your biases, even though the fact itself does not change. When we try to value a person, do we focus on all the opportunities that are ahead of them (for example, next year he is going to Cornell!), or do we focus on their past experiences (last year she traveled the world)? Unlike in accounting, our society does not have a consistent method for this type of valuation. Instead, we pick and choose our methods to obtain results that will justify our original assumptions. I too am a victim of my own humanity. Yet why would I want to fight against the human plight when we were designed to feel most comfortable when we are part of the pack?

“Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?” 1

Another discussion we had in class related to the differing views of consumption held by Americans and Chinese. Our textbook used two phrases to stereotype these two cultures. “Children and grandchildren make their own fortunes/way” exemplified the American concept, and “early generations plant the trees under which later generations rest” was the Chinese stereotype. I asked my Chinese teacher if a very rich Chinese parent dies, does he leave all of his money to his children, or only a sufficient quantity to live on (this is for example Bill Gate’s plan). She explained that the Chinese feel that since their families are their top priority, they will not give their money to a charity. Wealthy American families often give their children plenty of assets to live on, but the children do not inherent 100% of the family’s wealth. The goal of these two sets of parents is the same, they both want the best for their children, but their methods of providing their children with the best lifestyle varies greatly. I mentioned that Americans do not want to spoil their children. They believe in the value of hard work, so it is not out of greed that they do not always share their wealth with their children, but rather because they love them. My teacher said it is slowly becoming a problem in China that the children of very wealthy families inherit enormous fortunes and companies which they proceed to run to the ground. My best explanation for the differing methods is that China is still a developing country. China’s middle class, although now growing, did not exist some 10 years ago. Poorer families do not have the option of buying their children a brand new BMW to replace the one they recently crashed. I think the differing concepts of consumption also arise from the fact that China’s economy is still developing. If you cannot use credit cards to buy expensive train tickets, how are you supposed to accumulate debt? I’m not entirely sure if differing views of consumption arise from culture differences or rather from convenience and accessibility. Maybe one day we will discover our differences are not born from our cultures but rather from the gap in time created by wealth and modernity. Maybe one day, China will be the new America. Maybe some day, the Chinese will be saying, “Hi, my name is 贾文萱, and I am addicted to credit cards.”

1 T.S. Eliot “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”

Sinking Battleship #2 (The Counter Attack)

(Please read the prior entry first.)
Two and a half weeks after the beginning of our language pledge, I have found the 好处 benefit of our language barrier, namely judgments are postponed. It is human nature to be critical of others and to share our criticisms verbally. We connect with others over our ideas, including our opinions about other people. We justify our opinions in order to augment the appearance of our moral character. Our language barrier has rendered our conversations simple and succinct, and yet in their simplicity there is innocence. We speak at the level of 6 year old children, and like 6 year olds, we cannot verbalize our distastes beyond the simple “This food tastes bad,” or “She is annoying,” comments. Therefore, we cannot explain the nature of our irritation, or justify its presence. Not out of fear of being offensive, but rather out of fear of 丢面子 losing face (This is a characteristic Chinese word that perfectly clarifies my idea. It can be understood as loosing respect in the eyes of others.) do we hold back our negative commentary. Such is the American way! (We fear more hurting our own feelings than those of others, but more on this when I compare Chinese and American cultures next week on “At-Home-Abroad”. Stay tuned.) Words associated with partying, drugs, sex, alcohol, and “rock and roll”, words that typically permeate a college campus, remain unknown to us. We do not broach these subjects, and thus, our conversations, lacking slander, are pure and kind. Like Haulden Caufield, we hold a snowball in our hand and dare not disturb its tranquility with a simple action.

One of the most interesting aspects about culture is the similarity in thought. Today in class, I was telling my teacher and classmates a story about a student I caught cheating. My teacher, who is accustomed to comprehending our broken, accent-heavy, and grammatically terrible Chinese, still did not quite understand me. However, the other students in the room, all Americans, could follow my thought process relatively easily. When I said “office,” they immediately jumped to the conclusion that I really meant “The Board of Academic Integrity”. Note that Chinese Universities also have a similar board, although it is integrated with their registrar; this board is not unique to America. In my opinion, this was not an example of Americans understanding American culture but rather a similarity in our thought processes. The Americans all arrived at the same conclusion.

“this is not me; this is not me at all”

Speaking only in Chinese with my fellow classmates leads me to wonder how a society judges a person to be educated. When we first arrived to Beijing, I could identify the soon to be sophomores, and I more or less noticed an age disparity between myself and all the other students. (Of the 60 or so students I have come to know, one is my age, and only one is older than me.) The first two days, everyone spoke English. You could tell by the stories, the naïve comments, and the references to high school or partying, who just finished freshman year, and who was going to be a junior. (Notice that if you say, “just finished freshman year,” vs. “going to be a sophomore,” it impacts your impression of the person’s age.) Now that we all speak Chinese to one another, I no longer can tell who is a sophomore and who a junior. The age differences have melted away. I am not entirely sure if it is due to a barrier in communication and expression, or if I have merely adjusted to their personalities. I feel strange telling others I am a senior in college, not because it makes me feel old, but because I have no proof of my seniority. I use to associate college seniors as being more mature, eloquent, solemn, and knowledgeable than their counterpart underclassmen. However, whether or not I possess these traits over my younger classmates, I have no way of knowing, let alone displaying. Often when I try to express my opinions, I feel like an uneducated high school student, especially compared to some of the more verbally advanced students. Does maturity and sophistication depend on your ability to express your thoughts? While I possess more complicated thoughts, I can only briefly and simply summarize them. Granted I am able to express myself in English, but for now let us focus on Chinese. If a person is unable to communicate properly, it is generally viewed as a lack of intelligence. This is where the question of judgment comes to play. Is a person intelligent and sophisticated if their thought process is complex, or if they possess an eloquent tongue? If you cannot express yourself, you cannot prove your level of intelligence. If you cannot prove your level of intelligence, then does it exist? Debates are won based on articulated ideas. Those ideas that remain silent do not exist in the eyes of the audience or the opposition. Society can only judge a person based on the characteristics they display, not those that lie hidden. So if a person never speaks, are they still intelligent? Intelligence is just an opinion. It can be a widely acknowledged opinion, but never a fact.

I left a lecture today from a visiting professor discussing the increasing role of liberal Confucianism in Chinese society and politics. He discussed the differences between Western and Eastern political philosophy and the rise of those differences. It was fascinating. When I left, I yearned to debate it with my classmates, but all I could say was, “That was really interesting for me, because I took a government class last semester.” Reader, did you notice the dramatic decrescendo?!

The inability to communicate more profound feelings has slightly altered my personality. In the US, I am a rather outgoing person who cannot hold back her thoughts. I seek intimate friendships, and I love to discuss my feelings. But in China, my friends bore me. It is actually our interaction that bores me, but I cannot tell if they themselves are interesting people or not. I would often rather sit in silence than strenuously listen to a broken conversation about food and weather. I prefer writing a journal where I can explore the depth of my ideas and experiences, than briefly summarizing them to a person. My classmates cannot know who I am, because I cannot show them. Of course, my idea of who they are is skewed as well. Unfortunately, most of my character judgments are based on body language and looks, because I cannot tell from our conversations. So these friendships seem shallow and transitory.
Today I had the urge to scream, “I swear I’m not this shy. If I could only speak English, you would see who I really am. This is not me; this is not me at all!”
With a loss of eloquence, I have also suffered a loss in confidence.